COLDWATER KANSAS

Step-by-step Tutorial for
Completing
a Winning Term Paper

Here is a step by step tutorial to make your teacher actually think you deserve an A in the class.

Have an argument worth arguing over.

This might be easier in some courses than others, but if you’re doing literature or history this should be a piece of cake. Take a look at a point of contention that exists between actual professors or researchers with PhDs in the subject and read up on it. Who gets Kashmir? Why did the USSR fall? In what ways was Mark Twain racist? Just how incestual was Hamlet? Formulate an opinion that you actually truly believe in and your thesis should fall into place.

Can’t find something worth arguing?
Gain a sense of empathy, man.

If you’re one of the kinds of people who just don’t care about anything, you can try putting yourself in the actual figures’ shoes to help formulate an argument. Think of the Kashmir crisis from the point of view of Jawaharlal Nehru or Muhammad Ali Jinnah and suddenly what you actually truly believe in will become very obvious. Refer back to step one and write yourself a Nobel Prize winning thesis.

What else goes in the first paragraph?

Your first paragraph is, for all intents and purposes, the most important, so it’s important to spend a lot of time on it. You’re going to want to start on something objective but eye-catching, like a quote or a declaration of relevancy. Then you’re going to introduce the method by which you’re going to analyze the documents. Are you going to look at three books? Which books?

Are you going to look through your library’s periodicals? Are you going to watch some documentaries? Make sure your author knows where your opinion is coming from. After that, state the method by which you are going to present your evidence. Is your essay going to be written chronologically, thematically, or geographically?

Then you can state your thesis. You should try to find a balance between heavy-handed and able to be taken seriously for this one. Don’t bring in your personal opinion or use any snarky little remarks in the first paragraph. Words like “obviously” or phrases like “of course” should be left out. After your thesis is done, state your main points. You can say something like “this truth is self-evident given [a], [b], and [c].” These three will become your body paragraphs so make sure they’re at least roughly equally important.

Girl look at that body paragraph.

2012 called and they want their reference back, right? Anyways the rest of the paper should write itself. All you have to do left is write three paragraphs: one for your first point, one for your second point, and one for your third point, that effectively argue your thesis. As a trick of the trade, make your first body paragraph the strongest, and then the second the weakest, and then the third the second strongest. If you’re writing a longer paper than a thousand or so words, feel free to break up these paragraphs into smaller paragraphs as long as each paragraph is assigned one main idea or concept to argue. Close by repeating your three main points and thesis and you’ve got yourself a winning paper!

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